An Unimportant Announcement For Queermergent

Sometimes it seems that in this thing called being queer (umbrella term for LGBT) that we are alone. We struggle through so many things; coming out to EVERYONE all the time, fears, joys, and everything between. We find family, such as we have found here at Queermergent. However, there are battles that we have collectively and independently that cause us to feel totally alone. Sometimes it would be nice to see each other face to face and to be able to say, “it is OK and we are in this together!” Would that not be nice? Yeah, well, we here at Queermergent think so too. SO……

How about March 30 – April 1 we all get our queer on and gather together. Why not come together and make our own agenda? How about even, it is your voice that is heard instead of sitting in a crowd listening. Yep, sounds pretty amazing, huh? So Queermergent is going to have its first gathering! It will be held in Atlanta, Georgia. There will be one agenda and one only. That agenda is for you and us to be heard. To support each other and to let each other know we (you) are not alone. We have decided to go with the UNconference premise. We will gather on the first night, discuss what topics you want to hear, collectively plan out our weekend, and how we would like to discuss these topics.

We want to be clear about a couple of things. First, this gathering is not specifically for those who are in the “emergent conversation” nor is it limited to those who identify as “Christian” (or any other label that goes with this). We want all journey members to come to this gathering, to be accepted, and their voice heard. We want to learn from all our diverse areas of life. We have decided to open Queermergent as a interfaith gathering of queer voices. We feel this opens up a whole new conversation for us to learn, grow and to be challenged from. Second, this place will be strongly held as a safe space. This will not be a place to discuss the “clobber verses” or debate who is going to “burn” or not. It will not be allowed and will not be accepted at this gathering. Say what you want, we are declaring a safe space for LGBTQ and we will protect it.

Third, we have laughingly all said this in the “background”, but it fits. We are open and affirming to allies. Allies are welcome and there will be space for allys to discuss topics that do matter to them. However, this space will be focused on the LGBTQ community as a whole. We feel there are many other places and spaces that allies can commune together, but the space for LGBTQ to come together to speak is limited. We ask that allies do respect this space as this.

Lastly, we feel privacy is the utmost importance. We will do everything in our power to make this space safe for those who are not out in their homes, faith communities, and work. We will go by the “old rule” of our queer community, do not out anyone and do not speak information that would harm another who is not out. It is also important for our transgender family to know we have thought of them in our planning. With that in mind it is important for our transgender family know that there will be gender neutral bathrooms available. If you have any concerns, we do not want anything to keeps you away, please contact us so that we may help you in this and help make this gathering a safe place for all who come. Please contact us at:

Adele Sakler: sushichic@earthlink.net

Some housekeeping things you may want to know real fast: first there will be a $25 registration fee. This fee will be used to donate to a local LGBTQ center in Atlanta. We feel it is important that we give back and do something of service where we gather. So along with donating this money to a center we will also take time to serve at a center that serves LGBTQ people/youth. We are still looking for the right place to do this with, but be looking for that. Also, there is a Facebook Event page we have made for people to start putting in if they are able to come or are at least interested in coming. The reason we have chosen this is for housing. Depending on amount of people coming we may have houses for people to stay in, so that paying for a hotel is not an issue. We also have other options on the table. So knowing who is definitely coming will help us get the best accommodations for all who want to come. It is our desire to make this gathering as easy on the pocket as possible.

We cannot wait to come together and talk. What we want right now is for y’all to give us an idea of what topics are on your mind. We are aware that this could change between now and then. However, we would like to hear what is on your mind at the moment so that we may already start to get a bit of a plan on how we may need to segment the weekend. We love every, single one of you. We are so proud to be planning this gathering for all of you. We are open to your suggestions. We ask for your grace and flexibility for this gathering, remember, it is the first one. We expect we will screw up, fall short and the mixed bag. We just ask you to come a long in the journey with us. Help us plan and help us make this gathering successful. Also, one last request, if you have a twitter account please feel free to use the following hashtag #QM12. We hope to use this hashtag to connect with each other, but for y’all to help form the gathering this way as well. So, you have your marching orders my dear queers (and allies)….get to it!!!!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OaMsVhhuClo&hl=en_US&fs=1&]

Adele’s willingness to humor me in grappling with such sensitive material is a gift, as I work to reconcile my own relational dynamics with friends on both poles of the theological and social spectrum. I can’t overstate the caution and humility in which I want to approach this particular subject matter. Thanks Adele!’

NO, THANK YOU, Peter!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cC-QfmMfOeY&hl=en_US&fs=1&]

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Peter says this, ‘In this 5th segment of my interview with Adele, she makes some especially poignant remarks that I think you’ll appreciate.

When the online attacks from fundamentalist bloggers were at their peak on www.Queermergent.com, Adele thought:

“If I weren’t already Christian, I wouldn’t want to be Christian…

“Who are these people who claim to know Christ and love Christ, but they are so unloving and unkind and ungenerous.’

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrRAL-HPdkc&hl=en_US&fs=1&]

This poem i wrote this in my Women’s Healing Arts Poetry class and was inspired by Langston Hughes poem, ‘I, Too, Sing America’.

i Am Queer & An American Citizen

by Adele Sakler

i am an American citizen.

i am the queer citizen.

They tell me i’m a 2nd-class citizen

by the way they take my rights away

by mob majority votes.

i laugh in the face of adversity as

i keep up the fight,

though i get weary

Will tomorrow bring freedom

and equality

Like it did for women and African Americans?

One day i will be a first-class citizen, equal and on par

with every other law-abiding, tax paying citizen.

Nobody will keep this queer American down!

Copyright 10 February 2010 by Adele L. Sakler

All Rights Reserved

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Adele Sakler currently resides in Sacramento, California with her partner, and their cute Tibetan Spaniel named Mushu. She suffers from, and is in treatment for, Chronic Lyme Disease, a few other Tick-Borne diseases and Heavy Metal Toxicity. She considers herself at this point in her journey an Agnostic because she just can’t seem to sign on the dotted line and ascribe to all the doctrines and long-held man-made traditions of Christendom any longer.

Adele has been an “out” queer woman for over three years. Her involvement with the emerging church and Emergent Village has filled the better part of 10 years. She blogs at http://www.existentialpunk.com/ and is the creator and site administrator for http://www.queermergent.com/.

BY Rachel McAdams

“I’m glad you aren’t gay anymore. I like you better straight.”

I wish I could say this was something I never heard. I heard it once when I was 17. I heard it again when I was 21. I heard it when I was 24. I’m pretty sure I have friends RIGHT NOW who have said or thought something similar.

“You’re so much more fun now that you aren’t a breeder anymore.”

Thought you’d get away with being the accepting ones? Oh no. I heard this when I was 18, 22 and 25. I’m sure with my next girlfriend, I’ll hear it again.

With every new lover, a host of friends were lost for me growing up (and still are). If I was dating a man, the LGBT community felt I didn’t need them anymore, while with every girlfriend, the straight community thought I was rejecting myself and in rebellion.

I believe in marriage, monogamy, the everlasting love of my Creator, my wonderful country and chocolate. I have loved women. I have loved men. I never stop loving God. I also love cheesecake.

I’m attracted to tall, older handsome men. I’m also attracted to curvy, blonde beautiful women. To add to that, I’m also attracted to anyone that will cook me a good dinner and watch a movie snuggled on the couch with me.

I’m at a point in my life, where I just don’t talk about one when I’m dating the other. I’m straight when I’m with a man. I’m gay when I’m with a woman. I’m Rachel all the times in between.

If you are gay or straight, and have been lucky enough to be attracted to one particular sex your entire life, please understand the following:
I’m not confused.
I’m not going through a phase, although most days, I wish I was.
I can very easily ‘make up my mind.’
I’m not selfish.
I’m not trying to have my cake and eat it to. (pun intended… it always was when it was said to me)
I’m not polyamorous, or a polygamous, or poly-anything else.
I’m not afraid of my gayness.
I’m not a slut.
I will not sleep with ‘just anyone.’
I did not choose to be bisexual.
I don’t sleep with women to get men.

Now that we have that cleared up. I’m just like you. Sometimes I’m awkward and clumsy. Sometimes I have the world on my shoulders. Sometimes I love too much, and most days, I don’t love enough. I screw up and sometimes, everything works out perfect.

Sometimes I yell at God, and other times, I’m comfortable in His embrace.

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I’m 27-year-old ex-military, newspaper-loving college journalism student trying to understand God, love and people. I suck pretty hardcore at all of it. I love photography, writing, art, espresso and talking theology to strangers.

She is not the other side of the issue! The woman had approached our group, about twenty of us, as we held a silent vigil outside a concert hall in Columbia, South Carolina.  She began to yell at us, wagging her finger, one hand on her hip.

“God hates you!” she cried at the top of her lungs.  “Whoever told you God loves you was wrong.  That’s a lie from the pit of hell!”

This experience (and others like it) is what compelled Candace Chellew-Hodge to writeBulletproof Faith.  Candace, a United Church of Christ minister and writer, decided it was time for others to learn from the hard lessons life has taught her.  In the book Candace pulls no punches about what is important for the LGBTQ Christian to put in the tool box to protect one’s faith.  The tools she gives and guidance she provides are not only compelling but life saving.

LGBTQ folks know that from the moment we come out of the womb there is a target placed on our backs.  Add the word “Christian” to the repository of labels and the target only seems to get bigger.  In Bulletproof Faith Candace offers ways not only to engage the hatred, but she also offers ways to learn to disengage from it.  Many times in discussing our faith we get drawn into discussions that initiate an endless loop of negativity, creating a recipe for disaster.  From offering advice drawn from Xena the Warrior Princess to the story of Dotti and Roby who create a grace-filled relationship with Pastor Jay, Candace shows how one can learn not only to dodge bullets, but how to build bridges to unlikely destinations.

One tool I found most helpful was found in the section entitled, “Spiritual Survival Exercise: Surrender Before Battle.”  In this section Candace walks the reader through a meditation designed to help surrender past hurts, seeking to surrender to God before battle occurs.  This section, for me, was powerful and offered the kind of hope we find upon entering a deep relationship withAbba.  She offers no quick solutions, but reminds us of the importance of surrender, and how a bulletproof faith is founded on that surrender.

This book will be an important piece of the puzzle for many in the LGBTQ community who are on the journey toward wholeness.  It should be noted that this book is not a book for someone who may be seeking to become knowledgeable in queer theology,  or about defense strategies against the “clobber verses.”  This book is just a part of the puzzle.  It will help one to learn to save one’s energy by not being baited into the typical kinds of arguments, how to build bridges, and most importantly how to protect the truth within you.  I cannot express how potentially important this book could be to LGBTQ Christians.  Too often we feel the need to be defensive, to have a chip on our shoulders; and reading this book can help stop this pattern.  It teaches us not to be doormats, but to be proactive–for ourselves, for our faith, and for the community of Christ followers.

Chellew-Hodge, Candace.  (2008).  Bulletproof Faith: A Spiritual Survival Guide for Gay and Lesbian Christians.  San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.

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Jules currently lives in a small town in the bootheel of Missouri.  She is currently a student at Southeast Missouri University and studying Exceptional Children/Elementary Education with hopes to work with children who are on the autistic spectrum and earn a Masters degree as a Board Certified Behavioral Analyst.  Julie was raised in a strong Christian home that taught her the strong value of community and in some ways is your typical PK.  She has always been in a dance with her Abba from a young age and will continue the turns, twist, and beauty of it. She blogs for Queermergent and Dmergent.

Fear of the other. It’s a great fear because you don’t know the other. It can instill a deep-seated hatred of the other if not managed well. That’s what homophobia is – hatred and fear of the other. i fear being on the receiving end of homophobia because it hurts and brings about great damage. It cuts like a knife. Slurs that are meant to cause emotional harm are what i fear. i also fear the very violence that can accompany those slurs. Like what happened recently to the three gay people in New York. i fear that kind of violence being subjected on me just for who i am. It really scares the shit out of me that i could be attacked verbally and/or physically for being queer. i have experienced homophobia as slurs but never any violence. i feel like one day i might. i don’t walk around in deep fear all of the time but it does resonate in the back of my mind from time to time. When i walk down the street holding my wife’s hand with not a care in the world, the fear does lurk in the cobwebs of my mind. i’m a pretty carefree person who has a level of confidence in good measure, but i am flesh and blood. Say something nasty regarding my sexuality and it hurts deeply. Prick me and i bleed, so verbal pricking affects me greatly! People can be horrific to others. It’s these people i fear the most. If they would only take the time to get to know a queer person, maybe then they would see we are ALL human with all the same ups and downs in life. i am saddened by all the hate shown lately through the bullying and subsequent rash of suicides. No one should be driven to take their life. No one!

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Adele Sakler currently resides in Sacramento, California with her partner, and their cute Tibetan Spaniel named Mushu. She suffers from, and is in treatment for, Chronic Lyme Disease, a few other Tick-Borne diseases and Heavy Metal Toxicity. She considers herself at this point in her journey a Christian agnostic because she just can’t seem to sign on the dotted line and ascribe to all the man-made doctrines and long-held man-made traditions of Christendom any longer. She is ‘thomas, doubter. She is judas, betrayer. She is nicodemus, reluctant in the night. She is st. john of the cross, soul darkened by love.’ (David Henson of unorthodoxology)  ‘She is lost, wicked, and depraved but redeemed by the grace and beauty of God.’ (Eugene Cho of Beauty and Depravity)

She loves G-D and is a failing Christ-follower. She blogs at http://www.existentialpunk.com/ and is the creator and site administrator for http://www.queermergent.com/.

It’s National Coming Out Day across America today. Will you join the LGBTQ community and come out of your closet in solidarity with us? HRC (Human Rights Campaign) has a history of this HISTORIC DAY! It is SO VERY IMPORTANT that straight allies come out of their closets in solidarity for equality for ALL LGBTQ people! We are a minority fighting for full equality and we need ALL the help we can get. Help put an end to all the homophobia that still exists!

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Adele Sakler currently resides in Sacramento, California with her partner, and their cute Tibetan Spaniel named Mushu. She suffers from, and is in treatment for, Chronic Lyme Disease, a few other Tick-Borne diseases and Heavy Metal Toxicity. She considers herself at this point in her journey a Christian agnostic because she just can’t seem to sign on the dotted line and ascribe to all the man-made doctrines and long-held man-made traditions of Christendom any longer. She is ‘thomas, doubter. She is judas, betrayer. She is nicodemus, reluctant in the night. She is st. john of the cross, soul darkened by love.’ (David Henson of unorthodoxology)  ‘She is lost, wicked, and depraved but redeemed by the grace and beauty of God.’ (Eugene Cho of Beauty and Depravity)

She loves G-D and is a failing Christ-follower. She blogs at http://www.existentialpunk.com/ and is the creator and site administrator for http://www.queermergent.com/.